You're completely useless in the revolution.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
