you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Randomize
