wat bout pragnant strippers??
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Randomize
