dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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