im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I should be sponsored by Trojan
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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