So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
