Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
