So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
