I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize
