He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
