Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
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