He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
