We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
