I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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