Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize