So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
