Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Pants are for mortals
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
