What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize