the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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