Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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