AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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