You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
