Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
