I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
