Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
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