Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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