Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
