And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I just want nice things and good sex
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
