I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
