dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
how do flat chested girls get laid?
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
the liver wants what the liver wants
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
