I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
