I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
