Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
There's always time for handjobs
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
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