i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
