i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
