I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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