remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
