I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize