help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
