Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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