That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
