i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
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