He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
