I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
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