Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
