Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
