This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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