So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
