I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
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