he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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