No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Randomize
