all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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