Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
So much rum. So many feels.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Randomize