hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
