Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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