I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
