do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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