You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Your cock deserves a montage
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
