Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
