Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
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