what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
