thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
