I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize