they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
