I want to stick my p in your. b.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
