How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Randomize
