FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
