If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
how drunk are you?
Several
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
